Mentorship

Having been both a mentor and a mentee over the years, I’ve observed what truly makes mentorship successful.

Here are a few thoughts on how to achieve a successful mentorship. Much of this applies to everyone.

Choose Goals

Mentorship begins with setting goals. Identify the areas you want to improve and create goals based on those.

Goals should be:

• Simple and measurable
• Short- or long-term
• Focused on personal and/or career development

I've seen many people go through mentorship without clear goals or with the vague aim of getting a promotion. A promotion is not a valid goal. For example, your goals should be something like: "I want to improve at managing managers," "I want to learn how to handle low performers," or "I want to get better at designing a well-architected system."

The more focused your goals are, the better the outcome. It’s okay to have multiple goals, but your mentorship journey will be more fruitful if you can cluster them around related themes.

Choose Mentors

While many people can offer guidance, only a few can significantly accelerate your growth. Choose these individuals as your mentors. Your choice of mentor should align with your goals—find someone who excels in the areas where you want to improve, and seek their mentorship.

A good mentor should have the following qualities:

• Accessible and available: It’s great to have a high-profile mentor, but if they can’t dedicate enough time to you, the mentorship won’t be effective.
• A good listener: Mentorship is about your growth, not the mentor's achievements. Avoid those who spend more time talking about themselves and seek mentors who listen well.
• Positive referrals: Seek recommendations from people you trust—family, friends, colleagues—when selecting a mentor.
• Empathetic: Avoid highly analytical individuals who lack empathy. They may be brilliant, but without empathy, they often make poor mentors and managers.

Take your time in choosing mentors, as they can have a significant impact on your career.

Always remember: Great mentors elevate you, while average mentors hold you back.

First Meeting

After identifying potential mentors, set up an initial meeting to introduce yourself and assess compatibility. It’s perfectly okay to decide not to proceed with a mentorship relationship after this meeting.

In your first meeting, start by discussing your goals. Ask your potential mentor if they’ve faced similar challenges and gauge their interest in mentoring you. Choosing the right mentor takes time, so be patient and persistent.

Seek feedback on your goals during this conversation. Mentors can help refine and improve your goals, so use their insights and start working on them.

In the first meeting, I focus on the following:

• Getting to know each other’s backgrounds, roles, locations, and interests
• Having the mentee share their goals for the mentorship
• Assessing if you'd like to work together; if not, that’s perfectly fine—just be sure to communicate it
• Agreeing on a regular meeting schedule and a defined term for mentorship

I recommend a 13-meeting mentorship program over six months, with a mid-point check-in around the third month.

Follow up Meetings

Create a recurring meeting and follow these steps to maximize the experience:

• Stay focused on your development goals and track your progress regularly.
• Reflect on your goals and prepare for the upcoming meeting.
• Create an agenda and share it with your mentor beforehand for feedback.
• Prepare a list of questions you’d like to ask during the session.
• Review your notes from the last meeting to ensure continuity and growth.

Be prepared! Show up prepared! focus on development goals!

Final thoughts

• Mentors offer personalized guidance, helping you develop specific skills and, when chosen wisely, can significantly impact your growth trajectory.
• Nurture the relationship: Maintain strong connections with your mentors. A simple thank-you note or regular check-ins can go a long way in strengthening the bond.

Good luck with your mentorship journey!

If you’re looking for a mentor in your engineering or management path, I’d be happy to help. Feel free to reach out @sendilkumarn || LinkedIN.